Wanted To Know How His Pig's Doing
Two mayors made a bet on the outcome of the Vegetable Bowl, the annual football game between their high school teams. If Arvada's team lost, the mayor of Arvada would send the mayor of Boulder ten pounds of sliced potatoes, ready for frying. If Boulder's team lost, the mayor would send ten pounds of sliced tomatoes, ready for sandwiches or salads.
Unfortunately, before the game started, the mayor of Boulder overheard the Arvada mayor tell someone: "They grow the worst tomatoes. If they lose and send us their tomatoes, I'm going to give them all to my pig." The mayor of Boulder was upset to hear this, because he thought Boulder's tomatoes were the best in the state. So he gave the matter some thought.
The following week, the big game was played. Boulder lost its star quarterback in the first half when he tripped over a cheerleader and sprained his big toe. The quarterback glumly watched the rest of the game from the bench. His team ended up losing, 38 to 12. The two mayors shook hands after the game, and the Arvada mayor said, "I'm really looking forward to those tomatoes." As the Boulder team left the stadium, some unhappy fans threw ripe tomatoes at them.
A week later, the mayor of Arvada received a package of beautifully sliced tomatoes. He took them straight to his pig, which gobbled them right up. That night the mayor of Boulder asked his wife if Arvada's mayor had called. "No," she said. "Why?" "Because I mixed a pint of hot sauce into the tomatoes and I wanted to know how his pig's doing."
10. Goats Being Hired
Goats are being hired to do the work of men in a neighborhood just outside of San Diego. The fires that occurred in Hillborough four years ago destroyed thirty homes, most of which have been rebuilt. While contractors were rebuilding the homes, nature was regrowing the grasses, bushes, and shrubs. The area is now so overgrown in brush that it again poses a major fire hazard.
The city council asked for bids to remove the brush. The lowest bid they received was $50,000. And that was if the city provided breakfast and lunch for the work crews for the six weeks it would take to clear the overgrown area. The city countered, offering unlimited coffee (black only) and a doughnut a day for each crew member. When that offer was rejected, the city asked for help on its website.
A sheepherder in Montana and a goatherder in San Bernardino read about the city's plight while surfing the web on their laptops. They both offered to do the job for $25,000. The council chose the goatherder because he lived closer. When told that the city dump was overflowing, the goatherder said, "No problem. My goats will eat everything in your dump. Except for the automobile engines, of course." So, for another $5,000, the city killed two birds with one stone. If all goes well, they will invite the goatherder and his "family" back every three years. The goatherder said he will probably visit San Diego while his goats are in the dump. "I want to take one of those hang-glider rides. I just hope we don't crash. My goats would miss me a lot," he said.